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departures in the rain

departures in the rain

almost broke down
almost spoke your name
she was on the cross town bus
wearing her hair like yours
stopped at erie and ouelette
as i walked by one misted night
in windsor under a winter rain—

she was sitting by the window
half obscured by condensation
her breath visible like filaments of cloud
the dull bus light shadowing her eyes
i turned to search her face
but she disappeared into the cold mist
like you did so long ago …
and though i wanted to forget you
i still whispered to your shadows
(the ones i stole before you left)—
they did not speak to me—

the streets are emptying—
hand in hand, lovers are heading
for their doorways and disappear
except for me and others
who share a common thread—
we shuffle under night rain
and hide our faces in shadows
cast by hydro moons,
their cold light conducting our direction
to our desperate rooms.

we dissolve there
into the waiting nothingness
of our individual oblivion
where touch does not intrude
senses never bleed
and eyes become blind
to incursive visions
in windows streaked with rain.

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