Fear of Drowning

Fear of Drowning

our relationship has never been fluid

I remember the first time,
I screamed to the point of embarrassment

and others screamed back in static
echoes over time.

Now when you touch me, nausea
coats me with blue fear while panic
attacks begin their drum roll.

It’s the depth I can’t quite comprehend,
the deep denim chill that will pull me down,
a quicksand I will flail against while muffled
laughter snorts applause

cause they didn’t believe me when I said
I would drown.

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