i learned to avoid going out for new years (a candle lit for Noelle)

i learned to avoid going out for new years
(a candle lit for Noelle)

during countdowns
i was always emerging:
the washroom, the bar, or outside
for some air

with all the starry lights
an auld lang syne is sometimes
a shadow wanting
to touch
my hair my lips

my partner expected
my return
his cup o kindness
cold with the waiting
just as I am
now

these darknesses
should be so few
in the span of a year
and yet
they are my song

stealing the solace
from me
along with so many
other
living hours

Lois Nantais is a poet who also teaches psychology and ethics at Lambton College, in Sarnia. Lois’s work has appeared in a number of literary journals and anthologies, including Lummox, Tamaracks, Ascent Aspirations, and Room Magazine. She currently serves on the Board of Directors at the Lawrence House as a literary representative.